Santa Says Get Your Crap Together!

Santa (wink, wink) dropped by and left a much needed note on the fridge for our kids.

Get Your Crap Together

Dear Kids,

 I wanted to stop by while out on a test run and drop you a quick WARNING.  Tomorrow is X-mas and I want to be very clear…you had better GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER before noon today or else.  An alarm went off in our surveillance room when your dad googled “How to perform an exorcism” and your mom bought an alcoholic beverage before 7am.  We were impressed with your stealth but we are wise to your tricks now.

 You guys are cute BUT you may under no circumstances:

  • Hit, Spit, or otherwise act out in violent ways
  • Call your parents a “meanie” or say “I don’t like you!”
  • Refuse to obey rules or parental instructions
  • Scream, wail or moan at home or in public when admonished
  • Pee on the floor. Ever.

I mean it. We are beyond coal and switches. You would enjoy it too much. This is a Santa-con 4 situation and you have been placed on threat level RED (usually I like red). 

I mean it. I am watching you!



About SleepyDad

One sleepy man who harnesses nerves of steel to lead four strong willed boys towards honorable manhood! Follow Ryan on Twitter - @dadissleepy

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